


systemOverload();

by The_Eldritch_IT_Gay



Series: Flesh, Circuit, and Bone [6]
Category: Outland Industries
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eldritch_IT_Gay/pseuds/The_Eldritch_IT_Gay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I woke up slowly, eyes fluttering open as I dragged my systems online. Flexing my fingers experimentally, I tested how much feeling and control I had. I felt for my legs instinctively, only to find my prosthetics missing. I trailed my fingers over the rough scar tissue and trails of metal. I made a slightly discontent noise when I opened my eyes fully and found my hair has been brushed out of my face. The medical gown I was in was uncomfortable against the scarred seams of my skin grafts. I has been in this situation so many times, I was more used to this than waking up in my flat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	systemOverload();

I slowly became aware of the cold floor against my cheek, and faint voices shouting. I couldn’t make out what they said, my ears ringing and mind foggy. When I tried to open my eyes, all I could see was darkness. Panic set in, I tried to inhale, but my lungs remained empty. I was completely frozen, not a single part of my body responding. The lack of oxygen was starting to take its toll, my mind going blank, consciousness being forced out of my grasp.

I was barely aware of someone turning me over, an oxygen mask being secured over my mouth and noise. Even without the ability to hear what they were saying, I could feel the fear and panic in the room. Despite the sudden rush of oxygen, my lungs still refused to fill. _This was it,_ I thought, _this is when I die._ Maybe it was the lack of oxygen, or the paralysis, or maybe it was because I had expected this. Either way, the thought of death wasn’t scary, I was ready. Some part of me told myself not to give in, but in the end, the choice wasn’t mine.

 

* * *

 

“-re entire system overloaded. The signal caused their nerves to essentially short out. Which made them collapse and seize, and also lose nearly all feeling.”

I was only semi-conscious, the only sense I had was hearing. I didn’t recognize the voice talking, but I knew it was one of the medics. I was so used to being in this position, that even though I couldn’t feel anything, I knew exactly where I was and what was happening.

“I see. Do you have their chem logs?” 

I recognized his voice. If I could have tensed up, I would’ve. Not because of who it was, but because of what they were asking.

“Unfortunately, their files were corrupted with the overload.”

 “Even the ones uploaded to the main?”

“Their chem logs for the past week or so were never uploaded.”

“Then what did their _uploaded_ files show?”

“It was what would be expected of someone with stage 4 hRND.”

There was a pause; the anxiety rose in me.

“They have _stage 4 hRND_?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes, they’ve been qualified as stage 4 for… their entire employment anddd… it seems their last year at the academy. So-”

“That will be all.”

I heard the medic leave the room.

“Goddamn,” he laughed after the door closed, “You are something else.”

I smiled slightly before sleep overtook me again.

 

* * *

 

I woke up slowly, eyes fluttering open as I dragged my systems online. Flexing my fingers experimentally, I tested how much feeling and control I had. I felt for my legs instinctively, only to find my prosthetics missing. I trailed my fingers over the rough scar tissue and trails of metal. I made a slightly discontent noise when I opened my eyes fully and found my hair has been brushed out of my face. The medical gown I was in was uncomfortable against the scarred seams of my skin grafts. I has been in this situation so many times, I was more used to this than waking up in my flat.

Navigating my system quickly, I immediately tried to pull up my chem logs. Wanting to see for myself what happened.The medic was right about that, the entire folder was corrupted. I held back a laugh as I realized my backup was not corrupted, and remained unopened by the medics. Looking through those logs, I tried to piece together the events. My degree in medicine proved helpful for deciphering the endless logs and charts of vitals and chemical levels.

My heart fell as I saw a discrepancy. The medic said whatever caused my system overload, was what triggered the seizure and collapse. But, I knew better. My logs showed seizure activity before the overload, a Grand Mal seizure. And not just one, the overload would have caused one sudden, prolonged contraction. So the seizure activity after the overload was unrelated to the overload. Which meant there was another discrepancy with the medics explanation.

They said I qualified for stage 4 hRND. But back to back Grand Mal seizures was the trademark sign of _stage 5_ hRND. 

"Fuck…"

“You're awake then?”

I suppressed a growl. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking, especially since the pain medications would make it harder to lie. Which is why he would want to talk now. _Fuck._

"Nice to see you again. I am curious as to why you're in my hospital room."

I sat up, resting my back against the pillows, and looking over at him. I was conscious of the fact he could see the right side of my face. I saw him pull his gaze away from the scarring, avoiding my eyes in an attempt not to be rude. I was used to being stared at, I was used to people never looking into my eyes; My response to swallow the irritation had become automatic.

“You were hurt in the job, I was alerted. I expected maybe a malfunction or injury from some robophobes. But that wasn't the case.”

I sighed, muting my sign-to-audio program for a moment so I could sign a sarcastic remark without him understanding. 

“You're a good liar.” He smirked, looking up from his tablet.

"Not sure that's something I should be proud of. Which lie are you talking about?"

The emotionless, mechanical voice of my program always helped in situations like these- When I wanted to hide all emotion. Another response that was so automatic to me; To close off the second I’m questioned. It’s something you pick up on when you’re weaving a web of lies.

“You have late stage hRND, right?” 

"Yes."

“Your 5 year outlook is 0%, even your 2 year outlook is >1%.”

"Yes," I signed again, "I'm still alive though."

“I thought that's pretty impressive. Most don’t make it this far. And because of that, I was curious what kind of treatment you had when you were younger.”

I had a feeling I knew where I was going. 

"And?"

“There’s no record of any Ciaran born with hRND. In fact, there was only 1 child born with hRND in your birth year. Electra Vacuos.” 

I sighed, "I know what you’re going to say…" 

“Electra Vacuos, maybe you’re familiar with her story? Born into a wealthy robophobe family, second oldest of 6 other sisters. Despite her illness, she lived long enough and was smart enough to get into The Academy. While studying at The Academy, she got an internship with Android Repair. She was very much a probot, considered one of the leaders of their movement. Her idealistic and bubbly personality lead her to bring back a patient from the brink of death with cybernetics. She even used some of her own parts. Determined to bring him back to full health. She took care of him while he recovered, taught him the probot ways, became very attached to him, like he was the brother she never had. That patient was-”

"Atreus." I cut him off, "His name was Atreus. The same Atreus that, after returning to full health, decided he despised Electra for from bringing him back. Since he _wanted_ to die. And he ended up becoming a major leader of the Robophobe movement. He’s infamous for leading the major bombing that resulted in about 300 deaths and countless injuries. Electra, figuring out his plan, tried to disarm one of the major bombs. She ended up losing what was left of her two legs, most of her skin, and suffered so much internal damage nearly all her organs needed to be replaced and auged. Yes, I’m aware of her story."

My hands were shaking, emotion spilling out as I continued, "Everyone blamed her for Atreus’s actions. Because she was the one who gave him life and taught him everything he knew. She was essentially exiled from society, a disgrace to her family’s name. She would never be able to finish her internship, or graduate, or get a job. No one would trust Electra. Burdened with guilt and struck with grief, she disappears. Some rumour that she committed suicide."

By this time, tears had started streaming down my cheeks, my whole body tense. I muted my program, signing shakily.

"It wasn’t really untrue, believe me I tried... " 

I sniffed, wiping the tears from my eyes. I could see his face soften, brows knit with worry as he inferenced what I signed.

"No one would trust Electra. But Ciaran. A quiet bot, a transfer student to The Academy, who shows up after Electra disappears. There was no reason not to trust Ciaran."

He moved from the counter, sitting on the edge of my bed. He smiled solemnly.

“A quiet bot. All you needed was a new name. A new hairstyle- one that conveniently covers the part of the face where Electra got burned. The reason behind all your augs was your illness, no one would ask or recognize it was the same illness Electra had. You get a new internship, in a new department, graduate at the top of your class. I should have noticed earlier." 

He looked into my eyes- the cybernetic one, and the milky white one surrounded by burns. The skin looked like a patchwork quilt, different shades of skin and scars sewn together in an attempt to recreate the once smooth skin.

“You’re more timid and reserved than she was, but you have the same spark in your eyes. The same desires.” 

"The desire for life." The metallic voice sounded tired, "To give others life, to control my own life, to give people a second chance at life…"

“But nobody ever questioned it…” He sighed, standing up.

"Please…” I grabbed his hand, feeling him flinch at the icy temperature, "Don’t tell anyone, please…. just let me have these last few years of my life as Ciaran. When I’m gone, you can tell everyone about the horrible ways I’ve lied. Just… not yet…"

He easily pulled his hand away, walking towards the door. Something made him stop. He inhaled deeply, and turned around.

“I won’t tell about this lie. But they will find out eventually.”

"I know..." I whispered, "Thank you though…"

He nodded, walking out of the room. In the doorway he paused once more, thinking for a moment.

“The other lies however…” 

There were so many lies surrounding me; the once carefully spun web of lies now tangled and tightening around my neck. A noose crafted in a futile attempt to fulfill a dying wish- the wish to start over like the ones I healed. The seconds that passed before he spoke again felt like an eternity.

“The other lies… I’ll leave you to decide what’s best.”

With that, he left, leaving me alone in the room. I fell forward, head resting where my lap would be. My hands clenched into fists, nails digging into my palms as I cried quietly. The wounds left from Atreus’s betrayal opening again; waves of fresh pain and guilt drowning me.

  
“ _Why won’t anyone let me forget my mistakes…_ ”


End file.
